Pointless trends on Tumblr.

Is it just me or are there certain trends on tumblr that are just dumb as shit? Where do these trends begin and who thought that they are "cool"? I don't know the answer to that, and I'm not sure I want to know. All I know is that, if thats what is "in" right now then I guess I have no choice but to join in or else I run the risk of one day being labelled uncool and probably end up in that blog about ugly people in Walmart.


1) Anorexic girls wearing tights:

In cyberspace you will find a plethora of images of really skinny girls. Now thats a given. The internet is a breeding site of "beauty" or in other words "thinspiration" for girls who wish they looked like Kate Moss. But within the online universe of skinny chicks a few bizarre trends really seem to stick out (LIKE THE GIRL'S HIP BONES! HIYYOOOOO). This includes things such as hot skinny girls smoking weed, hot skinny girls eating messily, hot skinny girls looking sad aannnnddd last but most certainly not least, hot skinny girls wearing tights.
It's not like I don't "get it". I "Get it". Those chicks are hot and skinny enough to look faboosh in only stockings, but I just think it's retarded that so many people agree with that statement that there is a whole trend out there of taking photos of girls wearing tights. Where do these people find the time?

With the new craze I thought i might jump in on the band wagon and see if my photos launches me into internet stardom....

Ill-fitting, yet oh so comfortable Bonds cottontails, the perfect look for F/W 2011.

2) Low Calorie, Artistic Breakfast photos:

Breakfast photos have been steadily on the rise since 2009. We all love looking at photos of food, and breakfast is no exception. However, how are you going to post your sexy tights photo if you are bloated and overweight from all that delicious breakfast??!

Well there is a solution to that! Eat a really boring low calorie meal like oats and berries but take a super arty photo of it and stick it on tumblr to make it look like it is a satisfying meal.

Yeah, fruits FINE... I guess. 

Well, I thought i would post a photo of my breakfast, but since cigarettes entered my daily meal plan in 2007 I don't really eat breakfast. Sometimes i'll  indulge in the occasional  bowl of bran cereal because it's good for the digestive system ;) but otherwise I guess the only meals being served in my house at that hour look like this.

Breakfast IS the most important meal of the day.

3) Photos of irrelevant items with designer names.

I don't know where this started but apparently its cool nowadays to show items that have nothing to do with fashion that have famous designer names on them.... I guess maybe it's some really deep artistic concept that a small town gal like myself can't grasp. SIGH, if only I read more Nietzsche...

Check that arty shit out. MAN, is that deep!

Dior.

Comme Des Garcons.

4) Small white rooms.

Ok, I must admit. I love looking at douchey interior of houses  I will never afford and in my never-ending quest for the wankiest room I have come across a million and one small, white rooms. There is apparently something about unnecessarily small rooms that grab the fashionable type's eye. However I like to think the bigger the better if i'm lusting after a dream bedroom. Perhaps it's my untrained eye or perhaps it's the fact I have slept in a closet for the past 7 years, but when did it become cool to only have enough space in a room to fit a well place tea candle?

Maybe the photos came from Midget's Vogue Living?

Well, i have a tiny room but maybe its not tiny or white enough, so I looked for the next best room in my house....

It's small, it's white and DAMN is it cool or what?

I wish I was asian....

4 Reasons my life would be better if I was of Asian decent:

1. The food. This is number one because it is most obvious. After years of collecting asian cooking books and perfecting the stir fry or the curry, I still can't help but feel a little bit jealous when I hear about  my Asian friend's parents just casually whipping up some delicious char kway teow on a tuesday night for dinner, A dish that I still don't know how to cook. 

"Ohh you know, Sorry its not very much food, I just whipped this up a few minutes ago"

2. Body. Biologically speaking, people of Asian decent are generally slim. This is from their lifestyles and healthy (DELICIOUS) diets which in turn have given the majority of people fast, genetically inherited metabolisms. With my hearty Hungarian and American back ground I come from a more "robust" breed. I mean, for fucks sake, one of the countries i am a descendent of is ACTUALLY called Hungary. If I so much as LOOK at a cake I feel the weight pile on. Due to the cold climate and working class background my family have, I am also lucky enough to inherit enough body hair to make me look like i'm the missing link's sister. So it is so unfair to be sitting in a food court in China town surround by smooth skinned, slim girls tucking into their BBQ duck soup with a side of milky sweet taro pearl Easy Way, with a tasty creamy bun from the Chinese bakery down the road as dessert while I glare at my meal of miso soup and assorted LOW FAT sushi and a glass of water while my arm hair practically sweeps along the floor and my moustache acts as a strainer for my miso soup.

Me and my low-fat plate of fruit.

The female world champion competitive eater.

3. They can just "Pull it off" better. This can also be known as the "First time in Japan Syndrome". Last year I was lucky enough to have some friends accompany me on a trip to Japan. This was my third trip, and everyone else's first trip. I feel I am wiser due to my previous trips and mostly avoided catching the dreaded FTIJ Syndrome. Everyone else was less fortunate...

This awful affliction leads to purchasing clothing and accessories that only Japanese girls can "pull off". This includes colourful harem pants, overly adorned stick-on nails, fake glasses, flowing lacey dresses and t-shirts in "Engrish". It's the type of purchase where you can ALMOST get away with it in Japan but once back in Australia you just end up looking like a jackass or a whore (the nails). 

Don't get me wrong. I love all these things but I feel it just doesn't look as good on a hairy, mid weight, pale white female as it does on your average Japanese girl. Now I know I said I want to be Asian (speaking generally across the Asian continent but unfortunately I haven't been to any other Asian country yet so my knowledge on this terrible illness only goes as far as Japan. After my trip to Vietnam and Hong Kong, later this year, I will keep you posted if it is contagious throughout the continent. 

Yuck... just don't. 

4. Travel. Now if I was of Asian decent that would most likely mean I would have family living in my home country. Which also means, free accommodation and a perfectly good excuse to keep travelling there. Pretty obvious. Pretty simple to understand. 

Anywho, thats the long (AND SHORT SOUP!!!) of it. 

Please, if you are of Asian decent and are reading this, don't for one second think i'm being racist or stereotyping an entire continent (because I realise that I did that a lot in this post, and while it may seem i'm some ignorant asshole who can't tell the difference between Korea and Nepal, I assure you I can. Im just a REALLY bad writer). Just feel sorry for my Wapanese ass and pity the fact that I will never be able to be as good as you.

AUSTRALIANA Pt. 2

I know I said I would stop but once I published that post I realised I had forgotten so many things that I love! So please indulge me...

Being a science nerd I find it amazing that monotremes exist only in Australia. What the hell kind of animal is that, anyway?! Warm blooded egg layers!? Crazy little guys.

Fuck yeah! Movie of my youth. Love love love Looking For Alibrandi.

AMAZING fashion industry. Photographed is Romance was Born, my absolute favourite label, pictured with Jenny Kee- the O.G. nut-bar Aussie designer. Fuck yeah!

The fact every single town is established by a pub in the sense that it is not a formal town unless there is a local pub.

Ok. I know it's not native here but Australia has SO MANY Jacaranda and Aussie spring-time wouldn't be Aussie springtime without them!

And our tragic/terrific television!

AUSTRALIANA

I don't know if it's the summer, or just growing to accept it, but lately my appreciation for my home country, Australia has exploded. This is coming from someone who, two years ago, would have called myself an outright American and denied any ties with Australia. Sure my family are immigrants and I don't have any real roots in the Australian history but I can safely say I am indeed an Aussie.

I can't seem to get enough of Australian music from the 80's and 90's, such as Nick Cave, TISM, Gangajang and The Church. I have begun collecting kitschy Australian clothes and craving the beach, beer and Vegemite toast all the time! I, previously a militant vampire, refusing to let my skin, which is naturally a olive hue even see the light of day, am beginning to tan.

 Of course there are many aspects of Australian culture that embarrass me, for instance, the idea that if your family heritage is not of English background then you are a foreigner- Don't even get me started on the amount of levels that that concept is wrong. Australia, a country founded on stolen land and developed by convicts is now a land of freedom to be whoever you want and multiculturalism and anyone who see's that in a negative light don't deserve to live here.
I am also disappointed in the state of our education and health system but I am also thankful we have what we have.
I also hate the fact that even educated journalists say "Junta" instead of pronouncing  "hunta" as it should be, but thats just a little side note...

Yahoo Serious? Who else but Australians could come up with something so stupidly original!

The way Australian's say "Gum nut".

Loves it!

Cannot believe the amount of friends I have who are Australian and have not seen the Mad Max trilogy. Just disgraceful!! It's only the best movies ever and the costuming is heaven. Just heaven.

Im going to stop myself here with the photographic homage (also, you Aussie's out there; It's pronounced "oh-majhh") to my island home. But I will leave you with my favourite TISM song that perfectly encapsulates the culture of Australian high schools and is just all-round the best song- And my current ringtone!

GORILLAZ + SUSSEX CENTRE

So I arrived with "Bifl" in tow to meet at the iconic Golden Tree meeting point in Chinatown. We met up with some friends and headed to my personal favourite food court in China Town for a pre-show feast. It was an inner struggle between ordering soup from Happy Chef (the Original and the BEST) or BBQ duck. I settled with the duck thinking that, since my new years resolution is to become veggo again I should indulge in my favourite meat dish as much as possible until then. In the Sussex Centre food court there is a delicious Chinese BBQ stand just one store over from Happy Chef. It displays the typical hanging duck and pork and has two loud and bossy women at the counter shouting orders. The meat was perfect, as usual. Crispy skin with fatty, juicy heaven inside. It cost $9.00.

It is served on a bed of rice with a bundle of steamed chinese broccoli on the side with a absolutely gorgeous sauce of five spice, hoisin and some secret ingredient that causes me to drool at the memory of it. On the side they serve an incredibly minimal "real" soup of just some chicken bones and carrot. Very bland but at least it provides a hot salty liquid to wash down the richness of the duck.

The drink counter in the food court also offers a glass of house wine for a reasonable $3.80. It tastes like grape juice and metho but it does the job.

The "Bifl" and her Japanese katsu and my cup of wine.

After polishing off the meal we all headed over to a nearby pub for some pre-drinks. Had a wicked time shooting the shit and indulging in a few, so much so that me missed the Gorillaz opening song after assuming it would start around 10 (how wrong we were).

"Fortun8" bar at and Mountbatten Pub.

My drink of choice (house sparkling).

THE SHOW:

Ok. I was only mildly excited to see them after a dull review on behalf of a friend that attended the Melbourne show earlier in the week. I'm not too keen on the their new album and had heard that they barely performed any other songs. However,  I was pleasantly surprised when upon arrival (one song late) we were welcomed by "Last living souls" accompanied by an awesome video of two zombies (very 28 days later-esque) on a MASSIVE screen behind the performers, which provided me with something entertaining to watch the entire show when I couldn't see the band due to my height. The animation Jamie Hewlett has been creating for the Gorillaz never really grabbed my attention until last night. Not a fan of Tank Girl and I just thought that it was a cute touch to the band. How wrong I was. The animation played a HUGE part in the show and was mind-blowing. The creativity and character development was fantastic considering, it's based entirely off the premise of being on offbeat animated band. Every song had it's own video with a mixture of "Pixar style" animation, real life and 2-D animation. 

The music itself was very true to the recorded versions, with the exception of "Clint Eastwood" which I was slightly disappointed to hear the original lyrics of the verses (Deltron's rapping) had been changed. Mick Jones and Paul Simonon lived up to their rock idol statuses playing perfectly and with the same style of jerky dance moves they showcased back in the Clash days. They most certainly "Still got it". A highlight, for me personally, was the amazing New Orleans-esque, brass section that could bust moves while playing a trombone. That must take some serious talent. I also would like to mention that I noticed the stringed section of the band were a group of hot babes dressed as sailor girls, most likely by choice of the self indulgent lead singer Damon Albarn, but a good choice at that. They certainly had my "Ball and chain" interested!

All in all, the show was definitely worth the cost of ticket (I think roughly $140, however mine was a gift, lucky me) and the sacrificing of ego as a 50 year old woman gyrates on your leg and rubs her hair in your drink/mouth. If they ever tour again, or near you, I most certainly recommend seeing them live if you are a fan.

The stained glass is an example of the animation quality.

 Will tune in soon with a review of "El Cuervo Cantina", the new, supposedly authentic Mexican restaurant on Enmore Rd, Enmore.

xox

First Post

Tonight I will be attending the Gorillaz concert in Chinatown. In true personal fashion i'm feeling more excited about the prospect of dining with friends and having a few drinks in Chinatown BEFORE the show. I'm not a HUGE fan of Plastic Beach and from sources I hear they play it in it's entirety (Well DUH). However it should be fun to see the whole gang including my personal favourite, Mick Jones (previously and member of The Clash and Big Audio Dynamite) live in concert.
I'm just dreading the "mosh pit". Although at the tender age of 19, I feel i'm too bloody old to wrestle a couple of 13 year olds and sweaty men to get to the front and do... what exactly? Shake the performers' hands? Hear the music so loudly you have a ringing in your ears for days to come? Lose a shoe? No thank you! You will find me towards the back, beer in hand, boogying down.

Fingers crossed we will get to hear my favourite Gorillaz tune, Clint Eastwood!

Will write about the show and dinner w/ photos tomorrow.